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One Side: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my method of offering access, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends help each other in small ways. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their friendship?